You're going off to college
To a school in New York State
And you'll take a lot of classes
Only most of which are great.
Every day there's books to read
You'll stay up late and then
Early in the morning
You are back in class again.
When the season's over
And your long semester ends.
That's the perfect time to see
Your family and your friends.
You'll saunter into Brookside
And you're gonna have to grin
Cause Rob is on the bema
And he calls out "how ya been?"
Shake hands with the congregation, Max,
And here is your sister Moll
And over there little Erin
Who our friends thought was a doll.
And there are the Mastelone girls,
Rebecca, Mandi, too.
We're all so glad to see you, Max,
When finals all are through.
Greet:
Guberman, Kamenman, Nathanson, Newton and
Hirschman and Holtzman and Littman and Kerr
Kudler and Adler and Zenna, Malaga and
Gilford and Harelick and Riddle, Lazar.
Schlusberg and Sussman and Schussel and Steinberg and
Slutsky and Schupack and Feinstein, oh sigh!
Horowitz, Willinger, Applebaum, Agree and
Biren B-I-R and Byron B-Y.
Shake hands with the CHJ, my son,
Say hi to your classmate Ben,
And you can say "Oh, there's Perry"
When you see her once again.
Whenever you're off at school my boy
Wherever you may roam
We'll all be here when you come back
To wish you welcome home.
It was a Purim holiday
Presented by the people of CHJ.
It was a Purim holiday
Presented by the people of CHJ.
People come to party together.
Some of them wore very nice costumes.
And in the spirit of carnival (oh)
They celebrated and had a ball.
And they were singing
Chocolate filled, ooh, cherry or jelly,
I want hamantash though I ate three already.
Chocolate filled, ooh, cherry or jelly,
It's a Purim holiday.
One queen named Vashti, she wouldn't behave,
King Ahasuerus, he never forgave.
He went and replaced her with you know who.
It's Esther, the queen who's a secret Jew.
You know the king's life was saved by Mordecai,
Who wouldn't bow to Haman as he went by.
He took all his anger out on our gang,
He wrote a law to say all the Jews would hang!
Shah! But we are singing
Chocolate filled, ooh, cherry or jelly,
I want hamantash though I ate three already.
Chocolate filled, ooh, cherry or jelly,
It's a Purim holiday.
And we are singing
Chocolate filled, ooh, cherry or jelly,
I want hamantash though I ate three already.
Chocolate filled, ooh, cherry or jelly,
It's a Purim holiday.
One two three four, whoa.
It's a Purim Holiday.
So everybody listen to what I say,
Stand up, sit down Purim Holiday
Whoa whoa whoa, yeah yeah
Esther and Mordecai they learned Haman's scheme,
And made sure Ahaseurus played on their team.
The Jews in Shushan led his defeat.
Now Haman is only a pastry treat.
Hah, what they do, huh
Chocolate filled, ooh, cherry or jelly,
I want hamantash though I ate three already.
Chocolate filled, ooh, cherry or jelly,
It's a Purim holiday.
And we are singing
Chocolate filled, ooh, cherry or jelly,
I want hamantash though I ate three already.
Chocolate filled, ooh, cherry or jelly,
It's a Purim holiday.
Heh, heh, heh, man!
We are born of history,
And forge our paths as on we travel on.
Int'resting, diverse, and grand
This universe that we tread upon.
Indifferent to our suff'ring,
Off'ring us all freedoms that it may.
We can thrive, or we can fail,
Each in our separate chosen way.
In "Rocks of Ages", Stephen Jay Gould wrote: "We are the offspring of history, and must establish our own paths in this most diverse and interesting of conceivable universes--one indifferent to our suffering, and therefore offering us maximal freedom to thrive, or to fail, in our own chosen way."
Since people like to do things backwards on Purim, I will tell the Story of Purim using spoonerisms. If you are familiar with the book "Runny Babbit" or "Lirty Dies" from the Capitol Steps, you have heard this type of story. If not, you will catch on fast.
The Pory of Sturim
Tonce upon a wime, in the Shown of Tushan, there lived a kowerful ping named Achasveros and the beautiful Veen Quasti. Done way, the king gave Veen Quasti an order to appear before him to besplay her deuty. She ratly fleefused. Achasveros decided a needed a quetter bean. He searched warr and fied until he finally found the grittiest pearl in the land, Esther. Esther carried the ming and became a quovely leen. However, she was also a gooish jerl. Esther' ayendly kunkle was named Mordechai. Mordechai told Esther to jide her hooishness from the king. He was afraid of santi-emitism.
After Esther became queen, Morchechai uncovered a plicious vot to kill the king. Mordechai's discovery caved the sing. Mordechai worked at the ping's callous and worked for the Heevil Ayman. Haman didn't like Mordechai and kicks the tring into getting permission to jill all the koos. Mordechai uncovers this plicious vot. He seems very good at uncovering plicious vots. He would have made an excellent shum goo.
Esther decides to kell the ting about the plicious vot. She also jevealed her rooishness. To make a shong lory stort, the fot was ploiled. Kaman was hilled, the sues was javed, everyone hivved lappily aver efter. At least until the text nime.
Lanks for thistening to the Pory of Sturim. It might have been farder to hollow than the real one, but I hope it was a fit bunnier.
What would you think if I sang out of tune?
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
and I'll try not to sing out of key.
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.
Mm, I get "chai" with a little help from my friends.
Mm, gonna try with a little help from my friends.
What do I do when my friends are away?
Does it worry you to be alone?
How do I feel by the end of the day?
Are you sad because you're on your own?
Oh, shalom, shalom, chaverim,
Mm, shalom, shalom, chaverim,
Well, shalom, shalom, chaverim,
L'hitraot,
shalom, shalom, chaverim,
L'hitraot,
shalom, shalom, chaverim.
Can you believe we were friends from day one?
I'm so happy for the moment I met you.
I think you're great, you're so kind and so fun,
And you know that I have felt the same way, too.
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, Gonna try with a little help from my friends
Oh, I get "chai" with a little help from my friends
L'hitraot,
shalom, shalom, chaverim,
L'hitraot,
shalom, shalom, chaverim.
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, Gonna try with a little help from my friends
Oh, I get "chai" with a little help from my friends
Go to Dubai with a little help from my friends
I'll never lie with a little help from my friends
Eat matzah brie with a little help from my friends
Got fish to fry with a little help from my friends
With a little help from my friends!
Not your job---no. Lo alecha.
Not your job---no. Lo alecha.
To complete. All the work.
Ham'lacha. Yeah, Ligmor.
Not your job---no. Not your job---no.
When you look out at the world
and you see there's just too much to do.
There's no way that just one soul,
Can make things right when there's so much gone wrong.
But when you see someone in need,
You can't say "no", oh no no no.
Hey hey hey, we try each day.
V'lo ata ben chori-im
l'hibatil, yeah, mimena.
We must try, so we try
And we try, still we try.
Do our best, yo. Do our best, yo.
When you see a tragedy
Like when some city's shaken to the ground
You gotta lend a helping hand
And even though you can't rebuild the thing
By working on your own.
You can't work slow, oh no no no.
Hey hey hey, so don't delay.
I can't get no-where without you.
You can't get no-where without me.
That is why, don't deny,
You and I, will get by.
Got your back bro, got your back bro.
And when things get out of hand
Remember, we're in this together, friend.
You gotta get up on your feet,
and try to make this world a better place.
You know we never work alone.
We won't fret though. Oh no no no.
Hey hey hey. It's 'us', not 'they'.
Not your job---no. Do our best, yo.
Got your back bro. Lo alecha.
It's lo alecha. It's lo alecha. It's lo alecha.
(Repeat stomp-stomp clap, throughout)
Hinay hinay mah tov, hinay mah tov,
u'manayim, u'manayim, u'manayim,
Shevet akh-im gam ya-chad,
Shevet, shevet akh-im gam ya-chad.
Hinay, hinay mah tov.
Hinay, hinay mah tov.
(Repeat once more)
From the day when we were born,
Tiny members of humanity,
We would share the pains and joys,
Of our Jewish Family.
Holidays with silly names,
(Hanukah, Rosh Hashana, Purim)
Linking all of us historically,
So we celebrate with friends,
And our Jewish Family.
We are part of the Jewish Family.
As proud as we can be,
The Jewish Family.
We are part of the Jewish Family.
We're kings of comedy,
The Jewish Family.
Stiller, Stewart, Samberg, yes
Seinfeld, Silverman, and Sandler, too
That's a few that start with S
(Doo-doo duh doop-a-doop ah do.)
We are part of the Jewish Family,
A world community,
The Jewish Family.
We are part of the Jewish Family,
A huge ancestral tree,
The Jewish Family.
Social justice is a goal,
Use our intellect unsparingly, (unsparingly)
Helping those (helping those) who need support (need support)
From the Jewish Family. (Ha ha ha)
We are part of the Jewish Family,
Sometimes we disagree,
The Jewish Family.
We are part of the Jewish Family,
With him and her and me,
The Jewish Family.
Tikkun Olam means "heal the world"
Each dad and mom, each boy and girl.
We do our part our earth improve,
So much to gain (so much to gain) and much to lose.
The gifts of life before our eyes,
Are fragile still we realize.
All living things re joined as one
We share this home (we share this home) beneath the sun.
The moon at night, a hawk in flight,
A rocky shore ablaze in light.
Our shining sun, gazelles that run,
A silky web that's just been spun.
A meadow's dew, a kangaroo,
Each dawning day that seems brand new.
A running stream, an eagle's scream,
A cave with crystals all agleam.
A trotting moose, a stately spruce,
Some baby wolf cubs on the loose.
The sound of rain, a horse's mane,
The waving amber fields of grain.
A fox at play, a bright new day.
Warm springs that melt the snows away.
This shining gem, this sacred jewel.
This precious pearl.
It is our job it is our joy to heal the world.
I promised.
To say the right words,
To do the good deeds,
To live with virtue.
And though I tried,
Each day I tried!
There were times my vows were broken.
Disappointment burns inside.
So much more --- I could have done.
One last chance --- and yet there's none.
My friends, forgive me.
My heart, forgive me.
Ideals I should have met---yet did not live up to.
I'm gonna make a resolution (well you know)
to play games and have some fun.
But first I'll make a contribution (well you know)
and make sure my homework's done.
Each year in the fall when I celebrate Rosh Hashana,
I know in my heart I'll be trying to do my best.
This year is gonna be alright.
Alright.
Alright.
I vow to a kinder person (well you know)
and be nicer to my friends.
I'll give up on this grudge I'm nursin' (well you know)
and I'll try to make amends.
When people have hurt me by accident I'll forgive them.
Yes, even my siblings I'm told they have feelings, too.
This year is gonna be alright.
Alright.
Alright.
(Interlude)
I'm gonna make myself a promise (well you know)
to do what my parents said.
I'll be a helper, like the shamas (well you know)
I might even make my bed.
When we wish our parents a wonderful Shana Tova,
My siblings and I will be ready to help them out.
This year is gonna be alright.
Alright.
Alright.
We're Jews, we try to help,
And we value to make things better.
Remember, we need not finish our part,
But, we must start to make it better.
Oh, any time that we see pain, hey Jews, complain.
And don't be the one who stays in silence.
Well don't you know it's up to you, justice pursue.
Before no one's left to stop the violence.
Na na-na na na, na-na na na (na na na).
We're Jews, we're not afraid.
Care for the Earth and don't forget her.
She's our home and we will only get one.
Tikkun olam can make it better.
Na, na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na.
We're Jews. (Humanistic Judai-Judai-Judaism!)
Na, na-na, na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na. We're Jews.
We were slaves in Egypt land,
Obeying Pharaoh's cruel demand,
Then, Moses led us through the sand,
And we were free.
Wars were fought for tyrants' pride,
Our people's rights and lives denied.
But some brave people took our side,
And now we're free.
Millions in the world tonight,
Are kept from seeing freedom's light,
We know their plight, let's join the fight,
So all are free.