It wasn't until yesterday, when I was clearing space in my closet for D., that I suddenly felt apprehensive. Though he'll only be here for 4 weeks, we haven't lived in the same space since 2001, when I was fresh out of the hospital and only semi-mobile (his apartment was safer for me). Thinking back to that time, which was physically, emotionally, and relationship-wise, a time of turmoil, I actually got a little queasy.
Then I got a hold of myself and reminded myself that actually this time it will be much easier because I know what I can and cannot control. For example, the only thing I can control is my own behavior. I can't control D. or his moods or his actions or what he thinks. Or how he feels about me. Or how he feels about my cat. Heck, I can't even control my cat. So there it is.