Blech. I'm lonely after a long crazy weekend in NYC with E., coming off a weekend of sugar and wheat and dairy and not enough sleep and socializing with tons of famous musicians and actors and writers and...feeling a little like "why the heck am I doing what I'm doing? I'm never going to be great." Then I remember why: because there are artists who will meet you and judge you based on how good an artist they think you are, and then there are artists who understand that the reason all of us are artists is because there's something inside of us that has to be satisfied by making art, by experiencing the world in a different way, to the extent that each of us is able. It was lovely to see a certain iconic singer again and to be reminded that some super-duper famous people are just lovely people in general. Many great artists are not like that. So that was uplifting.
But I'm still coming down. I did start exercising again and am eating good food (E. and I are both detoxing this week after far too much Easter candy), and teaching violin students this week has reminded me why I'm doing what I'm doing: because now I look at my violin students after 2 years and see that most of them look like they've been playing the violin forever, and are happy and comfortable and starting to really be able to play. If I can help them express themselves through music, I'm doing something good for the world.