So, tonight I googled me, "Valerie Green", to see how easy it would be for my relatives to find my Brown CS page if they went looking for the Brenneman family history (which isn't linked yet...details). There in the sidebar, here's what I saw:

It got me thinking, gee, am I a deal or not? Who would buy me? After an e-mail I got today telling me how frickin' crazy I am (from a friend), I guess I'd say if you met me at a party and bought me thinking I'm always that well-behaved, you'd want your money back. On the other hand, if you bought me on a whim because of the way I look in my new red clogs and later discovered that you'd actually bought a folding-bicycle-riding violinist/programmer with a weird immune system, a green thumb, and a penchant for lewd remarks and power tools, and you actually thought that was cool, well, then I guess you really made out.

Last Friday I awoke to the sound of dripping and cars on the wet street. Preparing myself for a day of rainy, slushy crappiness, I shimmied out from under my electric blanket to raise the blinds. And discovered a fairyland.

Rain the night before, followed by sticky snow, had coated everything with a layer of white fluff. Marshmallowy trees looked suddenly majestic, and bushes groaned under their cargo. There's something about a layer of snow that makes everything look...cleaner. Watching the hedge struggle with its white weight gave it new life in my eyes.

The best thing about being a kid in winter was lying in bed in the morning after a big snowfall, listening to the radio for the school closings, hearing your school on the list, and going back to sleep for another couple of hours. And then going outside and making a snow fort. Working at home means I can't play Snow Hooky (is that like Ice Hockey?), but I'm still looking forward to Wednesday night's Nor'easter. The sky has been white for 2 days already, and I've been cozying up in layers (current count: 4 on top, 2 on bottom). I'm ready. Let it snow!

I was recently informed by Erin that making my own mayonnaise is "pretty hard core". Interesting, I didn't realize this. Maybe this is why, when I'm driving through Portland in my '89 Chevy Cavalier sedan with custom blue-sky-with-clouds ceiling (and matching sun visors), I sometimes feel like a total badass. Obviously I'm hard core.

Two Sundays ago, I packed up my cross-country skis and joined my parents at the nearby golf course for some outdoor exercise (something I'm sorely in need of since the sidewalks around here rarely get cleared in winter, so walking is treacherous at best). As my dad and I were skiing along the river, two amazingly fit women ski-skated by us, passing us as if we were standing still. When I say "amazingly fit" I mean that they were not only going way fast, uphill, but were also talking the whole time. Their thighs were extremely impressive. I thought, "OK, that's my goal. I want to be an Amazonian Ski-Skating Goddess."

Not long after this, a lady passed us going in the opposite direction. She was no speed demon but had great form and was totally enjoying herself. And she was probably 70 or so (lots of seniors on the course that day, interestingly). I thought, "Wait, no, that's my goal. I want to be out cruising the golf course on skis when I'm 70."

About 10 minutes later, we rounded the corner to start heading back towards the clubhouse, and met up with mom, who had somehow managed to make it all the way down to the end of the course where we were, on snowshoes. Huge 1972 Bear Paw snowshoes made of wood and gut, at that. Keep in mind that my mom had a hip replacement on December 20, so she's not allowed to ski this year. I thought, "Wait, no, I really want to be as in shape as my mom is when I'm 63."

Finally, after making it back to the car, I realized we'd been skiing for 45 minutes, and though I was tired and sweaty, I wasn't in danger of being exhausted and my left hip was still totally stable. Compared to even 9 months ago, this is a major improvement (knock on wood). Yup, at that moment I was feeling pretty darn buff.

Amazon Women come in many forms.